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Wellness Check

Woke up this morning in a cottage in the rain forest. True to its reputation, its pouring rain outside and the room has cooled overnight. I got up in the dark to re-start the fire in the wood stove. Marshmallow, my beloved grand dog who’s been snoring quietly on the couch beside me all night is barely disturbed. I‘m up now, may as well write.

I’m here on a wellness check, for me as it turns out. I can’t write about my kids because it’s their lives and they don’t appreciate it, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. Everyone else I know that lives adventurously, following alternate lifestyles have earned my respect, except my own kids. For them I just want a predictable, safe, occasionally boring straight line in life. That would make me happy. Selfish? Yes, very.  I once walked a pilgrimage just to create the struggle for myself that enriches our lives and strengthens us, but it breaks my heart when either of my kids face any strife at all.

I’m not estranged from this child of mine, not at all. We Face-time regularly and he tells me more about his life than I want to hear. We share our feelings and even argue over the cyber sphere. But it’s been almost a year since I’ve hugged him, seen him in person, sat around in pajamas watching videos with him. So, I hopped on an airplane, and another one and a ferry and drank wine and watched Netflix in his cozy little cottage last night.

He’s fine, he’s healthy and most importantly he’s happy. His girlfriend is coming home tonight from a long summer job away, so I’m being dismissed. 24 hours will have to be enough.

This remote cabin is the perfect place to write. With the rain falling outside the windows, the wood stove starting to send out warmth and Marshmallow sighing beside me, I can pretend I’ve disappeared. The acorn doesn’t fall far from the oak tree.

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